Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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