got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
