So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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