I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
