Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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