:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I believe in your delicious
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
