Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
she smelled like a LAN party
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
