you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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