Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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