mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
