Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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