I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
