She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize