just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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