I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
