Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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