Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Who wears a wallet chain?!
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
vagina is talking i cant
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
