Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
