its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
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