dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize