Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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