I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
