i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
