I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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