Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
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She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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