Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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