i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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