Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
this hospital has no fireball
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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