Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
