dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
