You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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