So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
