My room smells like vodka and shame
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I am one with the molecules
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
