i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
