Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
