I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
