Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
