just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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