i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
