I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
