You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize