there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
