After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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