You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Randomize