i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
