yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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