Pants 0. Shit 1.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
