what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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