what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
