Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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