my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
You're like the curious george of whores
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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