Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
