May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
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I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
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how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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