You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
