From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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