no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
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this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
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wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
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