I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
