When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
