I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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