yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
