so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
