how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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