There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
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