look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
My pussy is not your playground.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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