See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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