Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
