i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
