One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Houston, we have a blender
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
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