he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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