I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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